Thursday, June 16, 2016

The Epic Tale of Grape and Gary Jr.

“Please don’t forget cat food today,” my husband texted me on his way to work.

I had some errands to run and those locations were near the Petsmart so I opted to go there instead of Walmart to grab my cat’s grub. Upon entering the store, my children immediately began asking for a new pet. We have three dogs and a cat. We don’t need anymore pets but…

…I grew up with fish, rabbits, dogs, pheasants, and snakes so I kind of wanted a caged animal too. It didn’t take long to “break” me. Mammals were out. I’ve done that before and it is way too much up front investment and work to keep them tidy and happy. I wanted a relatively self-sufficient pet. Something we could watch and enjoy with minimal upkeep. What’s more self-sufficient than a fish? It keeps itself entertained and as long as you keep up with cleaning the tank and remember to feed the thing you’re good to go. Remember this easy going ideal as this story unfolds.

Before completely giving the kids permission to choose a fish and get the ball rolling, I checked the pricing of the equipment I would need. Luckily, starter kits aren’t that expensive and we grabbed one and picked out a few tank embellishments. That was the easy part.

I approached the massive wall of fish, uneducated (for the most part) about what each type of fish would require as far as care. I wasn’t interested in playing with saltwater or anything of that nature and I certainly didn’t want a goldfish. They bore me. A sales associate must have seen the confused look on my face and heard me tell me kids to just hang on a minute while trying to figure out where to even start.

“What can I help you find today?”

“Well, this is sort of impulsive but we’re getting a fish today, I believe.” I proudly patted my fish tank starter kit. “Now we just need the fish. What do you have that that isn’t a goldfish but is pretty robust? Something I won’t end up killing in three days…” Apparently if you don’t know me, my humor can be kind of off putting. At least that’s the impression I got based on the confused/shocked/sort of amused look our helpful Petsmart employee gave me. She looked like she was having an internal struggle as to whether to chuckle uncomfortably or try to tell me they don’t carry fish, as not to send one to it’s certainly imminent death. God, I’m so awkward. I wasn’t exactly kidding. I didn’t want some fragile fish that I had to maintain insane conditions just to keep it alive. “No, no. I don’t mean it like that. I just want a fairly low-maintenance fish. That’s all.” She looked a little more comfortable after that.

I’ll tell you, this girl made one of the smartest sales moves I’ve ever seen. Seeing one tank in my cart and two kids (assuming each would probably be choosing a new pet) she suggests a Beta. You know, those fish that you typically can’t house together. Bwhahah, nice try! My kids will learn to compromise before I’ll buy two tanks for two fish on a whim (one impulse fish was enough). It is possible this was the first fish that came to her mind when I said I didn’t want one that dies. Either way, it was a brilliant sales move, had I taken the bait (HA. BAIT. FISH.). We settled on allowing my daughter pick the Beta while my son picked out a snail. I was told they’d make decent tank mates (the Beta and snail, not my kids…they’d make horrible tank mates). Anyway, after grabbing water conditioner, food, and a feeding block and being assured I wouldn’t need a heater and the care would be pretty simple, we were on our way.

Skipping the boring parts, as soon as we arrived home we set everything up and the new animals were in their tank. My daughter named the Beta Grape. It was purple at one time but it’s blue and orange now. My son named the snail Gary Jr. as expected considering his admiration for Spongebob Squarepants.

Everything was going really well until I started Googling. I really didn’t want to be responsible for these new pets dying before their time, so I wanted to ensure I was doing everything right. FYI: do this before you go to store, not after. I read pages upon pages of veteran aquarium/fish enthusiasts telling me that I certainly keeping the fish alive but they would never thrive in their new home. Awesome.

The first fail I made was purchasing a 1.5 gallon tank to house the Beta/snail duo. According to just about everyone with any authority on the subject I should have gotten at least a 5 gallon tank. For this tiny fish. Oh he’ll live just fine in a 1.5 but he wont thriiiiiiiive. I kind of figured, he’s lived most of his fishy life in a little cup at Petsmart, how could anything bigger and better be worse? Anyway, for those worried I will be upgrading. My husband saw this as a great opportunity to pull his massive tanks from the shed and start seeking the proper equipment to set them up for thriving fish.

While I was advised a heater wouldn’t be necessary, I’ve still been obsessively temping the water. It’s too cold. He’s not freezing, it’s only a degrees or so off but enough to prompt me to go get a heater tomorrow. In the meantime I’ve been doing 25-50% water changes daily and slowly introducing warmer water to the tank. Temping it each time I add a little more water. I know constant water changes can piss him off but that’s where I’m at right now.

A day or two after bringing these guys home, we went away for the day. We came back to find Gary Jr. floating at the top of the tank, hanging out of his shell, with an air bubble inside it. He also smelled like death. That’s probably because he was dead. My son took it really well until he starting thinking about it. He went from completely understanding and almost callous to a little bummed. He’s ok, though. My son, not the snail. The snail is dead.

After the snail died I got him out of the tank and did a 100% water change and cleaned everything in the tank. The next morning the tank was murky and smelled horrible. I cleaned it out once more and it looked amazing and lost the horrid smell. Since all this craziness with the dead snail, the water change, the temp adjustments, etc. the Beta (for good reason) was pretty stressed. Eating has been hit or miss and now I’m 99% sure he has Ich. So a heater plus the Ich treatment and another tank deep clean are on tap for tomorrow.


I’m not upset that this has turned into more work than expected. I like having the tank in the living room. I actually find it hilarious that my mission was to appease the want for such a pet, specially aim for low maintenance, and here I am treating Ich.

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